“Now, there’s one thing you might have noticed I don’t complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don’t fall out of the sky. They don’t pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It’s what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you’re going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain’t going to do any good; you’re just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it’s not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here… like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There’s a nice campaign slogan for somebody: ‘The Public Sucks. Fuck Hope.’”—
George Carlin: Once a great comedian, always a speaker of the truth. (via winstonwolfe)
My awkward friend’s somewhat less awkward little brother was emailing with me about applying to library school a while back, and he got back to me today saying he was accepted, and he has some more questions.
Now, I think that’s awesome, and I’m more than happy to help him out. Thing is, his emails are in this sort of apologetic awkwardly over-professional business-lettery trope.
I’m like, chill out bro, you know who I am. I’m just Watson. You don’t need to play me like I’m the dean. I seen yo shit drunk.
It’s a 1990’s romantic comedy about a frumpy and intellectual but otherwise conventionally attractive library book who has never known what it feels like for a boy to check her out, but then she gets ILL’d back to a high school as part of a teen journalism project and David Arquette takes her home.
From what I gather, the best way to enjoy baseball is to either:
A) be a fan of the best team that isn’t the Yankees (see Red Sox, Phillies, ‘95 Braves), or
B) be a fan of the worst team that isn’t an expansion team (see Rex Sox, Mets, Royals, maybe? Are the Royals still a team?)
So in the first category, because, let’s all just be honest with ourselves, fuck the Yankees. Philadelphia is America’s asshole, and I’m pretty sure everyone who identifies as a Braves fan is actually just a fan of the ‘95 Braves. It’s fun to pretend it’s the 90’s. But realistically, this leaves the Red Sox.
And for the second category, baseball teams love to lose. Baseball fans love to lose even more. Now, everyone knows expansion teams don’t count, except in the NBA, where the whole league is an expansion team. Here we also have the teams like the Royals, Tigers, and Orioles that are presumably still in existence solely because the Yankees and Sox have been working off the same season schedule since 1903 and don’t want to change anything because of the superstition. It’s fun to pretend you live Between the Wars. And then there’s the Red Sox again, because that’s how the Red Sox operate, and that’s how baseball works.
Would that thou could renovate, like the SadWalmart two stoplights down, or piggyback on an inexplicably fancy restaurant, like the Sadmall, and become less sad. But no, to liquidate, and sell even thine sad bookshelves.
70-90% off the entire inventory, but my god, everything is so sad - no one even wants to buy this crap for a dollar.