The only difference between Kevin Costner and...
is that Patterson played pro baseball in the 80’s and then became an actor, and Costner was only a good actor when he played pro baseball players in movies in the 80’s. Tell me Waterworld wouldn’t have been awesome if it was about Luke Danes.
Jesus Christ, mom, shut the fuck up and get out of my face. I am recovering from surgery and I don’t need to hear every single thought you have.
That appendix was just cramping my style anyway.
Double Ref Desk with Snape.
Alright, library, watn’t nobody here this morning, let’s see what the night shift’s got for me.
Now, there’s one thing you might have noticed I don’t complain about:...– George Carlin: Once a great comedian, always a speaker of the truth. (via winstonwolfe) There’s your “Boom, roasted”. (via themattsmith)
If Obama was born in America, why is he black?
thebombbag: Checkmate, Atheists.
Entomology, etymology. Eh, bugs, words, what’s the difference, just give me whatever dictionary you have.
eldritch: OMG FRASIER DRINKING GAME →
damekatharsis: elleeldritch: damekatharsis: rodmanstreet: damekatharsis replied to your post:Also Antiques Roadshow. Do you remember the… When we have our 90s TV weekend, we are turning Frasier into a drinking game. DRINK EVERY TIME: Niles cleans something… Well there’s my night sorted.
The old lady that calls up the library all the time with bizarre requests. She took no for an answer. From me. With a smile. This is unprecedented.
lickystickypickyme: Bear cub scared by lion cub
The library is so slow this morning that I didn’t realize I didn’t open the desk log until an hour into my shift. Because there have been no questions to log.
Your cousin is dating a new man. I don’t know what he is, but he’s something.– What happens when your white cousin dates a brown guy. (via microaggressions)
"Those crazy assholes have gone too far." - The... →
paperispatient's Tumblr: Better Know a Tumblr:... →
retnuoc-clockwise: curliestofcrowns: tesseralharmonics: thelefthandedwife: que-sarahsarah: beezusinthetardis: likeproust: If we all got together for one epic, feminist-fueled karaoke night, what song would you sing? MAN I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN :D It’s… Blue Moon, always.
“You can get one shirt at half off for $x, or buy one get one free if you buy the first one at full price for $2x.” Umm… if 1 shirt = $x, and 2 shirts = $2x, doesn’t that mean that $x is just the price, and it’s not buy one get one free at all?
I'd watch a show about just Ron Swanson and Sue...
camiwillknow: I’m aware that having sex in the stacks is apparently a “thing”. Gross, but, whatever floats your boat I guess. Making out and being literally on top of one another with your hands up shirts is not appropriate for the computers directly in front of the reference desk. Thanks, Your Friendly Neighborhood Crotchety Old Librarian I can’t even.
This is new. Now what the hell am I supposed to do...
Sporcle is down due to technical difficulties with “The Cloud” We expect to be back up soon.
My awkward friend’s somewhat less awkward little brother was emailing with me about applying to library school a while back, and he got back to me today saying he was accepted, and he has some more questions. Now, I think that’s awesome, and I’m more than happy to help him out. Thing is, his emails are in this sort of apologetic awkwardly over-professional business-lettery...
Never Been Circ'd
It’s a 1990’s romantic comedy about a frumpy and intellectual but otherwise conventionally attractive library book who has never known what it feels like for a boy to check her out, but then she gets ILL’d back to a high school as part of a teen journalism project and David Arquette takes her home.
Alas, I have reached the end of the miraculous Chinese takeout leftovers which have been my sustenance for 4 days and 4 nights. The wondrous jug of sweet tea, on the other hand, remains bountiful into its 5th day, despite my drinking from it like a horse with no name.
"I have overdue books, but I am in Winston till...
What? Can you return your books to a different university? No. You gotta mail that shit. Or drive here. Won’t drive to Chapel Hill till May my ass. It’s a damn hour and a half. I mean, I can kind of see your thought process on W-S State, cause it’s a UNC system school, but Wake?
Sleeping With A Slut →
jasencomstock: themuppetpants: imwithkanye: by Ryan O’Connell | Thought Catalog Sleeping with a slut can be fun. Sleeping with a slut can be amazing. Sleeping with a slut can feel really slutty. Also applicable to us breeders. Everything about this article is awful. I was sleeping with a slut. I said please, please don’t insist.
How baseball works
From what I gather, the best way to enjoy baseball is to either: A) be a fan of the best team that isn’t the Yankees (see Red Sox, Phillies, ‘95 Braves), or B) be a fan of the worst team that isn’t an expansion team (see Rex Sox, Mets, Royals, maybe? Are the Royals still a team?) So in the first category, because, let’s all just be honest with ourselves, fuck the...
Would that thou could renovate, like the SadWalmart two stoplights down, or piggyback on an inexplicably fancy restaurant, like the Sadmall, and become less sad. But no, to liquidate, and sell even thine sad bookshelves. 70-90% off the entire inventory, but my god, everything is so sad - no one even wants to buy this crap for a dollar.
camiwillknowinthe21stcentury asked: Wilmington is not the beach.
I was nearly out of college before I learned that most people actually like their friends.
Couple caught having sex at Charlotte children's... →
Well done, humans.