December 2011
51 posts
“If you are sent out to collect a bill or make a sale, and you feel a sense of...”
2 tags
November 2011
104 posts
2 tags
"Saracuse."
File under: Pronunciations I don’t understand.
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Christmas Dog Puns: The Movie
is now on Hallmark. It’s exactly what it sounds like. We changed the channel after 5 minutes of Jay Mohr making dog puns, but I’m fairly confident that there are 115 more minutes of Jay Mohr making the same dog puns from every movie narrated by a dog.
“It is no wonder that people are so horrible when they start their life as...”
– Kingsley Amis (via libraryland)
camiwillknow:
We have agreed, however, that Luke is the worst part of Star Wars.
Excepting those other three movies, but they clearly don’t actually count.
However - I could live in a universe where the 2000’s happened first, followed by the 1970’s and 80’s.
1 tag
“If you want to keep Christ in Christmas, worry about things more important than...”
– The Fat Pastor (via qglas)
Today all the newspaper comic strips are running the same “turkey makes you take a nap” and “I’m thankful I have a day off to eat and watch football” jokes they’ve been running since 1943.
This is why print media is obsolete.
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"Pansies converted daily"
And the billboard had a picture of pansy flowers and a rifle.
See, billboard, I don’t think you’re being explicit enough in your premises. We need to demonstrate to the people that obviously shooting a gun and being a pansy are a universal, natural and mutually exclusive dichotomy - that shooting a gun is a necessary and sufficient condition for being other-than-pansy - that...
In which my family doesn't know what I look like.
Mom: You were spotted last night.
Me: What?
Mom: They saw you at the game.
Me: Who? What?
Mom: [cousin] said she saw you and [other cousin] on tv at the Carolina basketball game last night.
Me: … I wasn’t at the game. I’m not a student anymore, I can’t even get into the games.
